In this third installment of Be a Taker, it’s time to “Take Charge” — which in this context of navigating transitions means sorting out your non-negotiables so you know where your firm edges are.
Here are some tools at your disposal:
- Attune. This step is about remembering who you have been, exploring who you are now and affirming what’s important to you. It has to do with connecting with your essence and making decisions that are true to yourself — both hard to do if you’ve lost sight of who that ‘best self’ is. Pay attention to you!
- Delineate. I’m not sure I have the best verb here yet, but what I mean is to map out your boundaries. Which elements of your life are ‘up for grabs’ in this transition and which ones are not to be touched? What’s fixed and what’s flexible? It’s much easier to sort out your next move when you know where the edges of the playing field are and what is in or out of bounds.
- Narrate. What stories are you telling yourself that you need to unlearn, and which plot lines are helping you move forward right now? We each get to choose the story we tell about what has happened, is happening and even will happen to us — so this is an opportunity to notice if the narrator of our story is telling it well. Be your own cheerleader rather than a saboteur!
- Align. Even if you don’t have full information, and big decisions have yet to be made, you might already be noticing some elements of your life that have drifted out of alignment with your values and desires. Dissonance adds stress, so I think of this as “resolving the chord.” You can course correct at any time — why not now?
These are not intended as a linear list of steps to follow. They can be, but I often picture these tools as living in Mary Poppins’ magical bag — she rifles around and pulls out just the thing that is needed in that moment. I hope that at least one of them feels well-suited to what you most need today.