If you’ve ever received a backstage pass, you know how fun it can be. You also know how it can induce imposter syndrome in some people (“I just won a contest — I don’t really belong here!”), nonchalance in others (“I’m the sound guy. This is my job.”) and a sense of entitlement in others (“Of course people are fawning all over me. I am a celebrity!”). But then there are those who are grounded in that lovely place of recognizing they have no more or less right to be under those stage lights than anyone else, but they are grateful for the invitation, enjoying the moment and performing at their very best. Continue reading “Welcome vs. Wanted”
Casual Contact
Now that most of us who can switch to online work have done so, some of the implications of this new mostly-digital life are becoming clearer. Two that I’m noticing are feeling particularly insidious, and I’d love to hear how you’re tackling them:
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- The extinction of spontaneous conversations. Whether it’s touching base over your cubicle wall or bumping into people on the sidewalk or catching up with a colleague in a hallway after a meeting, our opportunities for unscheduled chats have dwindled. Who would have thought we’d miss small talk! There are so many social touchpoints that don’t warrant an appointment but add to the richness of our days. This is not only a social loss, but also a hit to our “reconnaissance capacity” at work because we have less of a sense of what’s happening on the street.
- Medium-priority social gatherings in peril. As the weather gets colder and daylight hours shorter, our evening gatherings outdoors feel increasingly precious and precarious. In contexts where distanced socializing is difficult, I hear people saying, “We could meet on Zoom, but do you mind if we don’t?” Even though we have figured out how to translate our social or volunteer commitments to digital ones, spending our work days online means that we don’t necessarily want to do the same in our evenings. Extending our screen time does not feel like a win, and our formal and informal community building can suffer as a result.
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Subjective Success
In some roles, it’s easy to define your win. If you’re a sales rep, for example, or a runner.
In others, success is harder to measure. Just ask a pastor or a social worker. But in any job, what looks like success from the outside may not feel like success from the inside.
Think of your role models in your field. (I hope at least a couple come to mind easily). What have they done that makes them admirable to you? Continue reading “Subjective Success”
Leverage What’s Available
Perhaps, like me, you have someone living in your household right now who wishes they were somewhere else. It’s another COVID casualty. One of our daughters had been hoping to move across the country for university, and instead she is studying in our living room with her younger brother. Not quite the first-year experience she’d imagined. Continue reading “Leverage What’s Available”
Allowing for Change
When our second daughter was 12, we rented an RV and toured around Alberta, Canada. Family vacations were not her favourite at the time. Famously, at one point she sneered at us with derision and said, “YOU want ME to go hiking in the Rockies??!”
Today, at 22, she is in Banff, Alberta and sent us the following text: “I am having so much fun. How did I not like this before?”
No one wants to be held to the opinions of their 12-year-old self. Continue reading “Allowing for Change”