Parallel Play

In my roles as a facilitator or team coach, I am frequently structuring group conversations to help people reach consensus. But lately, I’m noticing how often I am in settings where people are working independently alongside each other instead. Alone together.

The experience reminds me of toddlers engaged in parallel play: contentedly exploring the toys around them, in the presence of their peers but only occasionally interacting directly with them.  I see it showing up in restaurants with long harvest tables rather than just tables for four or seats alone at the bar. In this age of remote and hybrid work, it’s one reason why co-working spaces can be so appealing.

It’s beautiful. It removes significant pressure as a facilitator, it’s less lonely as a participant, and it can encourage more focused work. I love it.

So much so, that I am now starting to create these experiences intentionally. It’s how Four Seasons of Transformation and my upcoming adventure retreat in Costa Rica to reimagine your next chapter are structured. People who are doing roughly similar types of work are convening to move their own project forward, in the presence of others. A loose structure is provided, planned and unplanned interactions happen, and folks are given lots of space to focus their attention as they choose.

It has a lovely “both/and-ness” to it that appeals to me.

It makes me think that a similar format could be borrowed for use in other contexts. In many office settings, people are either in their cubicles alone or in chatty meetings—why not normalize something in between? In team sports practices, the group is often working on drills all together or simulating game play—what about having individual players working on the skills they need to polish, but in the presence of their teammates? Could a CEO mastermind group occasionally alter its format to free up some time to let leaders get work done, making the session less conversational and more about companionship?

I’ve written before about the power of a setting or venue in influencing the creativity of what happens in it. Similarly, how collaboration and work are structured can be similarly powerful.

Let’s learn from our little ones and change it up!

And if you’re curious about experiencing this model in real life with me, join us for an information session about the Costa Rican adventure on Tuesday, August 6 at 7:30 p.m. EDT. A representative from Wired for Travel will also be on the call and we’ll gladly answer any questions you have about the program, tour itinerary and travel details. Click here to register for the information session.

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