Posted on by Rebecca

My Modern Elder Academy Experience

I am someone who LOVES having something on the calendar to look forward to — usually a trip.
 
One of the trips I’ve been most looking forward to, for several years in fact, was a visit to Modern Elder Academy (MEA) to spend time with Chip Conley and learn more on the topic of “Wise Leadership.”

MEA is dedicated to “helping midlifers live a life as deep as it is long.” They offer workshops and sabbatical spaces in Baja, Mexico and will soon be opening a site in Santa Fe, New Mexico, alongside multi-faceted online courses.
 
I wrote about some early parts of the trip here — but it’s taken me awhile to sort out what else I want to say about it. Skilled event planners and facilitators understand the importance of articulating objectives related to the content you need to cover and to the experience you wish to create. Since several of you have asked to hear more about it, here’s where it’s sitting with me right now, on both of those fronts.

Content
 

The MEA core curriculum on midlife transitions is interwoven with the theme of the week and the expertise of guest facilitators — in my case Soren Gordhamer, founder of Wisdom 2.0.
 
The group conversations and experiences were wide ranging. They are continuing to soak in. Here are some of the paths I’m meandering, in case you’d ever like to join me:

  • We talked about how the Hero’s Journey, an ancient story structure popularized by the work of Joseph Campbell, applies to our own stories. This led me to explore how the Heroine’s Journey might fit my narrative more comfortably. Specifically, have you ever finished a quest and felt disappointed rather than victorious? In the Heroine’s Journey, this feeling is attributed to a yearning to reconnect with the [feminine] traits and relationships women often needed to leave behind in order to embark on a [more masculine] adventure.
  • We discussed the extent to which wisdom can be taught without the direct experience that often forges it. What does it take for the process of becoming wise to be expedited?
     
  • In a workforce where knowledge work is increasing, what might it mean to be a “wisdom worker?” (I want that to be my job!)
     
  • The image of the “sage-femme” — a wise woman, which also means midwife — has long been important to me. (So much so that I named my business Sage Solutions). I’ve always been vaguely surprised that I didn’t become a midwife. Folks in Baja drew my attention to the ways in which I am a midwife — in my roles as coach, facilitator, parent, friend and grandmother. Our conversations about times when we might be a midwife helping others birth something, versus a mother doing the birthing, versus the new life being born have continued to resonate.
  • And I am very curious about all of this. Is this exploration of liminal spaces and midlife transitions just for my own benefit, or is it for me to share with others as part of my practice? I have some ideas. Time will tell.

Experience
 

Once a facilitator…

Chip’s background is in the boutique hotel industry, so my expectations for the experience of MEA Baja were high. I was not disappointed. It validated my conviction that the venue itself affects what happens there. Inspiring spaces lead to inspired conversations.

The MEA campus in Baja is ridiculously beautiful. A series of meandering villas, with gorgeous landscaping and water features everywhere you look. My favourite parts? The yoga platform overlooking the beach. More well-stocked kitchens than you can imagine. Delicious, healthy food served family style. A regenerative farm. The best curated library I have ever seen, organized by provocative question. And so. many. whales.

The other people (MEA “compadres and comadres”) contributed to making the week remarkable. There were 30 of us, from four countries, ranging in age from 37 to 72, representing a broad spectrum of interests and experiences, including my friend Judy Riege. Everyone arrived in a season of transition, open to being stretched. Their curiosity and wisdom fuelled mine, and it’s already been nourishing to stay in touch with them, and with other Canadian MEA alumni since.
 
Three things stood out from a facilitation design point of view:

  1. There was spaciousness in the agenda, but when we were doing things as a group, the timing was strictly adhered to. I loved this combination of breathing space and flexibility alongside honouring one another’s time.
     
  2. Ritual was used masterfully. Midlife is a time of significant transitions that are generally unmarked (unlike when you graduate or get married or have a baby…). MEA incorporated moments that felt like rites of passage that I didn’t know I needed. I’m not usually a big fan of such things, but in that context, they really worked.
     
  3. The design allowed the group to go deep quickly. These relational connections were strengthened in a short time by:      

    • Participants’ willingness to be open with each other. My sense is that the venue and facilitation helped, but so too did the self-selection to be there. When you’ve chosen to be somewhere and invested in it, you arrive all-in! I suspect being largely unknown to each other also helped. I was curious if the experience would have been as deep for an intact team — it would have required greater bravery. (It felt like making camp friends!)
    • Facilitated activities that invited depth. Chip invited the group to take risks with each other very early, including sitting in the discomfort vulnerability can generate — for the greater good. For me, it really worked. But I was aware of how it required stretch on the facilitator’s part too, and I wondered if I would have had the nerve.

One final thought:
 

The specifics of what happened at MEA are less important to me than having done it at all. There is something very motivating about setting a gutsy intention, investing in what it requires, and seeing it through. I hope that each of us has something like that on our radar. What are you looking forward to making happen?

As an alumna I have access to an affiliate link that gives both of us discounts to upcoming programs. When I checked these today, I happened to notice that the next cohort of online classes starts later this week! Writing this piece was not intended as an advertisement (although in rereading it, it does sound like I’m quite a fangirl!) but if you want to experience MEA, here’s how you can do so online. In-person experiences in Baja are also ongoing.

And if you are interested in tugging on any of these idea threads one-on-one with me as a coach or thinking partner, I’d welcome hearing from you.

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