Are you in a tough situation or season right now? Lots of people I know are, as they navigate job disappointments, caregiving responsibilities, health challenges, relationship changes, financial pressures…it’s a lot.
And it has me thinking about the importance of balancing agency with acceptance.
Agency has to do with taking responsibility for our circumstances, exploring creative alternatives and actively shaping our future. Acceptance points to being grounded, present, content and at peace with what is.
Can you hear the ‘both/and’-ness in this, and the challenge of living in that tension?
As I write this, Olympics gymnastics is playing in the background. When world class athletes find a balance point, they achieve perfect stillness. But for most of us, balance means tipping a little too far one way, course correcting, then leaning a bit too far the other way as we move tentatively forward. It’s a dynamic state, not a static one.
Are you tipping too far toward agency with not quite enough acceptance right now, or do you tend to lean the other way?
There can be stillness in the middle, but there can also be double frustration — “I hate this situation and can’t do anything about it” — made worse by our tendency to beat ourselves up about not getting it right.
Here are a few hacks that help.
Feeling squeezed by the parameters of your life?
Remember that innovation thrives in the presence of constraints. Your limitations are concentrating your creativity in a smaller space, making it more powerful.
Needing a nudge to make a change?
We are more likely to create a future we have imagined in vivid detail. Describe your preferred future to someone else.
Being hard on yourself in the midst of a challenging season?
Speak to yourself the way you would talk to your dearest friend who’s struggling. Be gentle.